This one is for…Expat Women in the Middle East

So the other night I watched ‘The Tinder Swindler’. Wow! Part of me was shocked and saddened at how these smart, beautiful and seemingly accomplished women were unfortunately led into unfathomable debt by an expert con artist who methodically preyed on their loving, kind and trustful nature. The other part of me wanted to cringe at every red-flag romance reference that kept cropping up, knowing all too well that even though I tell myself I wouldn’t have fallen for it; in all likelihood I probably would have been on that private jet faster than a 6 ft drag queen jumping into a pair of size 11 pumps (I mean, it’s there, might as well try it on to see if it fits, right?) But that ending?! That was the killer for me. After serving a very basic term of only 5 months of incarceration in an Israeli prison for fraud charges, I, like many others I’m sure, were shocked to realise that Tinder Swindler Simon Leviev, was out and about as a free man, living an exorbitant life of luxury in Tel Aviv and still up to some form of his old tricks.

At the start of the documentary, I’m drawn in by the fairy tale fantasy of Cecilie Fjellhøy. A dream of a ‘happily ever after’ lifestyle, befitting a princess who’s been rescued by her wealthy and well connected prince. This narrative is something that I’ve found all too common among many, but to be fair not all, expat millennial women, particularly some of those who live and reside in the more modern and attractive destinations of the Middle East. And it’s easy to understand why. These are the places where fairy tales and dreams of plain and simple girls becoming princesses have come true… even if often only temporary or kept a secret from the REAL princesses of the region. With an incredible array of 5* hotels, brunches, parties and supercars on display (our modern day castles, banquets, balls and horse-drawn carriages), living the ultimate and best life has never been more attainable in places such as Dubai or Doha… especially if you’re getting someone else to pay for it.

When our princesses in the Tinder Swindler started to look beyond the fancy gifts and VIP experiences provided courtesy of their Israeli ‘prince’, their apparent hero very quickly turned from a knight in shining armour to an aggressive and threatening villain who would stop at nothing to keep up the lifestyle he had fashioned for himself. But heroes and villains come in different forms, and are even perceived differently by different groups of society. Speak to some men in Israel and you would perhaps be surprised to hear them use the word ‘hero’ for Simon Leviev quite literally. I was amazed to discover, after speaking with a friend of mine who is quite knowledgeable of Israeli culture, that in some circles Simon Leviev would be considered the epitome of machismo: a rags-to-riches celebrity playboy, who not only managed to fake the life of a high-flying business man and entrepreneur, but is a self-entitled prince among thieves, who managed to evade the authorities for years, sleeping with and conning beautiful women out of thousands of dollars and getting away with it. In their frank and misogynistic opinion, you couldn’t get any more ‘manly’ than that.

Adding further light onto this dark tale, you only have to revisit the horrific Ayia Napa case of a British woman reported to have been raped by a group of 15 Israeli boys, to see the lengths that this toxic macho culture can go to. Upon returning to Israel after having all charges suddenly dropped, the boys and the entourage that welcomed them home were seen celebrating their freedom with champagne and singing, vowing to bring the British ‘slut’ to justice for having dared to challenge them. These are not isolated cases of this type of ideology and, unfortunately, it’s still found amongst all societies across the world today. It’s in all major religions, amongst the rich and the poor, and in the modern and the traditional families residing within Israel and the Middle East. Astonishingly, this type of behaviour is often deemed acceptable, where even the three women featured in the Netflix documentary are no longer considered the damsels in distress but are made into villains due to their race and gender, by a deeply ingrained and dangerous perspective of masculinity. The fairy tale narrative is flipped on its head, and our should-be heroes are left serving a sentence of financial ruin, whilst the apparent villains are left to roam free to commit their crimes once again.

Simon Leviev should be considered a criminal of the lowest nature. His deceitful wielding of money, power and charm, proven as a set of elaborate tricks played by countless men today, to lure their victims into a lavish lifestyle that compares to the ‘happily ever after’ and ‘justice is served’ many of us have been conditioned to want and expect. But how do those expat women, who would have made their way across the desert to these modern day oases in search of love and a life of luxury feel about this type of behaviour? Has this story changed their outlook on where their principles lie when it comes to their overall happiness? It certainly doesn’t seem to be the case with Leviev’s current girlfriend Kate Konlin. And what about the women of Israel and Tel Aviv, where Simon Leviev currently resides as a free man? Do they think of him as a hero? Are they able to agree and accept this interpretation of masculine culture? Do they consider it a legitimate excuse for the actions that men like Simon Leviev conduct with no apology or apparent remorse? Could this even be considered attractive in some way? I mean, I love the idea of being seduced and done hard by your typical bad boy, but this takes things to a whole other level.

The power of the Netflix documentary and social media have been both a blessing and curse for the three women. On the one side, it has brought their story to a global audience and generated funds to pay back the debts amassed by Leviev’s cons. On the other, the women have had to deal with a deluge of derogatory social media comments glorifying Leviev and simultaneously shaming the women and their supposed naivety. Too often women’s voices are drowned out by the money makers and the politically powerful, but heroes like Cecilie Fjellhøy, Pernilla Sjöholm and Ayleen Charlotte are, like many other women today, finding the courage to tell their story, inspiring other victims to act and bring men who commit these types of crimes to justice. With women at the forefront of some of our biggest stories of the past decade, such as the #MeToo movement, we could well see many more women, particularly those living in the Middle East, spearheading their own movement in the region, rejecting the fairy tale narrative for independence and #girlpower instead. Our real heroes in this story are evidently Cecilie, Pernilla and Ayleen. But it’s scary to realise that just because of their gender, they are still portrayed as the villains by certain sects of society. What’s even more scary, is that by allowing someone like Simon Leviev to continue living his lifestyle, it sets a precedent for people to believe that these type of actions are acceptable in today’s world. In every story, we know there are at least two sides. One is often considered good and the other evil. We are still to hear Simon’s side, and once we do it may likely mean that our three brave heroes’ work is not yet done.